With no expectation of pleasure, but with the strongest curiosity, the reader opened the website, and, to her still increasing wonder, perceived a screen full of white, written quite through, in a very close font. Pursuing her way along the browser, the reader then began to read. It was dated at eight o’clock in the evening, and was as follows:-
“Be not alarmed, Dear Reader, upon witnessing this change in theme, by the apprehension of it’s containing any repetition of those widgets, or renewal of those ads, which were previously so disgusting to you. I write without any intention of paining you, or humbling myself, by dwelling on achievements, which cannot be too soon forgotten; and the effort which the transformation of the website and the theme should have been spared, had not my character required it to be done. You must, therefore, pardon the freedom with which I demand your attention, but I demand it of your design sense.
Two offences of a very different nature, and by no means of equal magnitude, were laid to my charge. The first mentioned was, that, regardless of the sentiments of other readers, I had detached the previous theme and, in defiance of honour and humanity, ruined the immediate prosperity, and blasted the prospects of my blog.
With respect to that other, more weighty accusation, of having left the theme unchanged for so long, I can only refute it by laying before you the whole of its connection with my preference. Of the truth of what I shall relate, I can summon more than one witness of undoubted veracity.
Maxwell is a beautifully drawn theme that has drawn my gaze for many months now but, I was not then master enough of myself to know which theme could or ought to be chosen.
I know not in what manner, under what form of falsehood, the previous theme had imposed on me; its success is not, perhaps, to be wondered at. Ignorant as I previously was, detection could not be in my power, and suspicion certainly not in my inclination.
This, dear reader, is a faithful narrative of every event in which my WordPress themes and I have been concerned together; and if you do not absolutely reject it as false, you will, I hope, acquit me henceforth of cruelty towards my blog. I will only add, God bless you.
* To be sure, this is a satirical letter announcing the change of my theme, and it is modeled on the lines of Darcy’s letter to Elizabeth in the greatest book ever written – Pride and Prejudice.
Mr. Darcy would make a splendid blogger!
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And so handsome and rich too! 🙂
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