The Hogwarts School of Wheelcraft and Blizzardry

The streets of Pune are filled, filled I tell you!, with all representatives of the families inhabiting JKR’s world. Every day, as I cruise along the roads at a breathtaking speed of 40kmph, I come across hitherto unknown species of drivers. The following is but a small sample of the vast majority:

The Potters

Their modus operandi works as follows: they buy a huge D-segment car, whiz it out of the showroom with pomp and splendour, then promptly dip to second gear and 25kmph. They potter around the roads with their broad butt occupying the better part of two lanes. You can honk at them, overtake them, curse at them as you blitz past, but they don’t care, baby, ‘cos they’re just happy to chug along at a leisurely pace.

Their motto in life: Slow and steady dims the pace. 

The Weasleys

Ah, this family! What passionate emotions they arouse when they cut into the 5 mm of space just in front of you. They love to weasel into lanes between two other vehicles. When they sidle into the slot between you and the car in front, you shake your fist at them and unleash the choicest Punjabi expletives at your disposal, but you’re too late, for they’ve blazed ahead leaving behind a trail of dust and a coughing fit. 

The Riddles

Which way will he turn? Left or right? Or will he just collapse in a heap in front? This family, unlike the wand-brandishing, skull-imprinting Dark Lord of the books, prefers to ride a cycle the same way a blind person walks a tightrope tethered between the two ends of the Grand Canyon. 

The Snapes

These guys adopt the reptilian approach to car-driving. If they’re in one lane for more than thirty seconds, they get jittery and switch to the other lane instead. Snake-like and elusive in their manner, they have no fear of being caught by the long arm of the law, unless said arm flags them down when they break the signal and forces them to dish out a staggering 200 Rs. fine. 

If you can think of any more Hogwarts School no-gooders, please tell me. I’ll add them to the list.